Lets talk about yesterday. Yesterday, I was emo-ing. Horribly. Intensely. I cried when I watched the Hunchback of Notredame - I cried when I read one of my fanfic reviews. I was tearing when I got to a touching part in Mitch Albom's One More Day. I was depressed when I was typig out the new fanfic story I had in mind. It had been quite some time since I have been such a emotional wreck. The last time I remember doing such things was during my jc years. I was depressed for a part of it. I thought myself useless, crushed when my results were below par, horribly disappointed with my piano skills. I cried to myself in the bathroom, letting the water beat down on me, hoping that the water will wash away all everything. For a time, I wanted to kill myself. It was only a thought, a thought that i entertained greatly. But deep down, i knew I would never end my life. I had too much commitments in life, too many relationships forged, too many people to love for me to let go. I never told anyone about my troubles; I did what I did best in life - kept everything to myself, and forced a smile on my face. I hate making people beside me worry. Because, I would hate myself in turn for being the source of other people's burden. I want to be the one people can count on to lend a shoulder or a listening ear, the one who could brighten up another's day, make my friends laugh. Perhaps I simply wanted to be too much. Much more than I can be. I wanted memories. Memories I can take with me through life. Friendships that would last through time, love that would be by me for life. I am a romantic at heart; I believe in the possible, impossible was simply...not possible. When I want the stars, I would get there; and along the way, touch the moon just for that sake. Maybe it is how I am that is my downfall. Back to the present and out of the depressing part, I went with Sou to Cathay's Starbucks to study for the econs test tomorrow. We ended spending most of the time drawing on the brown paper napkins Starbucks provided. I wanted to make a box of memories of our time together, and after we finished the napkins, we slotted them into clear packets and placed into the box I bought from daiso for this very purpose. I want Ling's Mama Tor and Baby Tor's napkin we drew together at macafe last fri. LOL. I already know what I am going to get the guys for christmas. LOL. And i am not telling. =p ps. bought a t-shirt from esprit today. It is grey. And a T-SHIRT. My current LOVESSSSS. Ha. HA. I miss Suen Hui. And Yu Ning, my hair-cutting buddy. And Charissa. And Esther. And Ling square. And Jia. And even Julianna, that crazy woman. Mah, I even miss our jc clique please. JESSIIIEEEEEE, my dear grandaughter, where you lah? .......... I emo again le. I miss patricia and Irene too. =( I should really get down to answering my emails. Tiffany and Dani are going to kill me soon.
Lets talk about yesterday. Yesterday, I was emo-ing. Horribly. Intensely. I cried when I watched the Hunchback of Notredame - I cried when I read one of my fanfic reviews. I was tearing when I got to a touching part in Mitch Albom's One More Day. I was depressed when I was typig out the new fanfic story I had in mind. It had been quite some time since I have been such a emotional wreck. The last time I remember doing such things was during my jc years. I was depressed for a part of it. I thought myself useless, crushed when my results were below par, horribly disappointed with my piano skills. I cried to myself in the bathroom, letting the water beat down on me, hoping that the water will wash away all everything. For a time, I wanted to kill myself. It was only a thought, a thought that i entertained greatly. But deep down, i knew I would never end my life. I had too much commitments in life, too many relationships forged, too many people to love for me to let go. I never told anyone about my troubles; I did what I did best in life - kept everything to myself, and forced a smile on my face. I hate making people beside me worry. Because, I would hate myself in turn for being the source of other people's burden. I want to be the one people can count on to lend a shoulder or a listening ear, the one who could brighten up another's day, make my friends laugh. Perhaps I simply wanted to be too much. Much more than I can be. I wanted memories. Memories I can take with me through life. Friendships that would last through time, love that would be by me for life. I am a romantic at heart; I believe in the possible, impossible was simply...not possible. When I want the stars, I would get there; and along the way, touch the moon just for that sake. Maybe it is how I am that is my downfall. Back to the present and out of the depressing part, I went with Sou to Cathay's Starbucks to study for the econs test tomorrow. We ended spending most of the time drawing on the brown paper napkins Starbucks provided. I wanted to make a box of memories of our time together, and after we finished the napkins, we slotted them into clear packets and placed into the box I bought from daiso for this very purpose. I want Ling's Mama Tor and Baby Tor's napkin we drew together at macafe last fri. LOL. I already know what I am going to get the guys for christmas. LOL. And i am not telling. =p ps. bought a t-shirt from esprit today. It is grey. And a T-SHIRT. My current LOVESSSSS. Ha. HA. I miss Suen Hui. And Yu Ning, my hair-cutting buddy. And Charissa. And Esther. And Ling square. And Jia. And even Julianna, that crazy woman. Mah, I even miss our jc clique please. JESSIIIEEEEEE, my dear grandaughter, where you lah? .......... I emo again le. I miss patricia and Irene too. =( I should really get down to answering my emails. Tiffany and Dani are going to kill me soon.
currently 20 of age
white is her favourite color
pastries and cakes are her love
a born slacker
who has no qualms about lazing the entire day away. SMILES.
optimist and idealist
loves the piano and soothing music
is blessed because of her loving friends and family whom are able to bear with her weirdness HAHA
"being happy takes less effort than getting angry at someone, so whyever not just be happy?
emoing day
