I could almost see the looks of relief on my family's face this morning when I woke up and burst into laughter at the silly sight of my father dancing with my mom in the living room.
Yes, we are a close knitted family; and I hate being the cause of awkwardness in the family. I have always been the one dragging them together, bringing them closer, making sure we keep in touch with all the minor things in our lives.
I could almost sense the confusion in my brothers when the confrontation happened. My older brother stopped coming over for our frequent one-on-one talks. My younger brother failed to draw me out from my room and phone to watch online anime together. My mom always had a disappointed look on her face. My dad, simply watched me helplessly.
I just couldn't smile.
I realised how much I have let them down.
AND oh, how much I have learned to hate my phone (I am getting over it). I remember how it was a trademark of mine to not pick up calls or leave smses unanswered for DAYS, not that I meant to do it deliberately. I simply did.
Abnormally, these few days, I am always beside my phone. Waiting for calls. Calling someone. Complaining. Crying. Emo-ing.
GOD. What have I turned into?
I am tired. But so are my family and friends. What gave me the right to be so selfish?
My emotions have been going through ups and downs these days.
I dont promise people things when I know there is a possibilty of it not happening. I can give my heart completely. But I'll never trust completely. It is just me.
I am almost relieved my phone gave up at the last minute and I am now heading out of the house without the phone. I hate feeling constrained by a stupid gadget.
Oh, and if you are wondering, yes, studying makes me very VERY emotional.
I need time off SOON. or I'll simply go stark-raving mad. I want to go vivo city, to sit there at the rooftop and simply breathe in the sea breeze, listen to the waves, and tune out. DATE ME SOON PLEASE.
I could almost see the looks of relief on my family's face this morning when I woke up and burst into laughter at the silly sight of my father dancing with my mom in the living room.
Yes, we are a close knitted family; and I hate being the cause of awkwardness in the family. I have always been the one dragging them together, bringing them closer, making sure we keep in touch with all the minor things in our lives.
I could almost sense the confusion in my brothers when the confrontation happened. My older brother stopped coming over for our frequent one-on-one talks. My younger brother failed to draw me out from my room and phone to watch online anime together. My mom always had a disappointed look on her face. My dad, simply watched me helplessly.
I just couldn't smile.
I realised how much I have let them down.
AND oh, how much I have learned to hate my phone (I am getting over it). I remember how it was a trademark of mine to not pick up calls or leave smses unanswered for DAYS, not that I meant to do it deliberately. I simply did.
Abnormally, these few days, I am always beside my phone. Waiting for calls. Calling someone. Complaining. Crying. Emo-ing.
GOD. What have I turned into?
I am tired. But so are my family and friends. What gave me the right to be so selfish?
My emotions have been going through ups and downs these days.
I dont promise people things when I know there is a possibilty of it not happening. I can give my heart completely. But I'll never trust completely. It is just me.
I am almost relieved my phone gave up at the last minute and I am now heading out of the house without the phone. I hate feeling constrained by a stupid gadget.
Oh, and if you are wondering, yes, studying makes me very VERY emotional.
I need time off SOON. or I'll simply go stark-raving mad. I want to go vivo city, to sit there at the rooftop and simply breathe in the sea breeze, listen to the waves, and tune out. DATE ME SOON PLEASE.
currently 20 of age
white is her favourite color
pastries and cakes are her love
a born slacker
who has no qualms about lazing the entire day away. SMILES.
optimist and idealist
loves the piano and soothing music
is blessed because of her loving friends and family whom are able to bear with her weirdness HAHA
"being happy takes less effort than getting angry at someone, so whyever not just be happy?
being loved, or loving someone?
