the first step is always the hardest to take. no matter how much prompting, no matter how many willed me to, in the end it is all up to me (as explained lovingly by sou hahaha).
i couldnt give up, suspended between the urge to continue as i am now, scared of the changes that would come in the future.
yet, thinking through, there is not much to looking back at. all, was a pretty pretty relationship i happily coated in spun sugar, my little fairytale concoction. i was happy doing it, and so, maintained a blind eye to the raw truth that lay beneath it.
what is the point of holding onto someone who cant be depended on, someone who never loved you for who you are? someone whom you never loved, whom you only thought you loved, because i wanted him to be that idealised person to love.
hahahahahas. i cant say much now, because it is still pretty much a tangle now, but i want to, must, take that first step out. i must wake up.
and i will.
there are so much more worthy people i should have spent my time and care on. and he was never one of them.
hoho. :)
its nice to know you are being loved. and yes sou darling, i do know i am a blessed person.
the first step is always the hardest to take. no matter how much prompting, no matter how many willed me to, in the end it is all up to me (as explained lovingly by sou hahaha).
i couldnt give up, suspended between the urge to continue as i am now, scared of the changes that would come in the future.
yet, thinking through, there is not much to looking back at. all, was a pretty pretty relationship i happily coated in spun sugar, my little fairytale concoction. i was happy doing it, and so, maintained a blind eye to the raw truth that lay beneath it.
what is the point of holding onto someone who cant be depended on, someone who never loved you for who you are? someone whom you never loved, whom you only thought you loved, because i wanted him to be that idealised person to love.
hahahahahas. i cant say much now, because it is still pretty much a tangle now, but i want to, must, take that first step out. i must wake up.
and i will.
there are so much more worthy people i should have spent my time and care on. and he was never one of them.
hoho. :)
its nice to know you are being loved. and yes sou darling, i do know i am a blessed person.
currently 20 of age
white is her favourite color
pastries and cakes are her love
a born slacker
who has no qualms about lazing the entire day away. SMILES.
optimist and idealist
loves the piano and soothing music
is blessed because of her loving friends and family whom are able to bear with her weirdness HAHA
"being happy takes less effort than getting angry at someone, so whyever not just be happy?
time heals all
